There had been many surprises this year. Yeah, God is full of surprises.

One of it was regarding my studies. I finished my college last year and planned to further my studies in university. I have done my research and applied for few universities. The one university that I preferred accepted me, but I needed to fly there in 2 weeks time. I wasn’t prepared to go, there were many things needed to be done and bought but too little time. So, I asked the staff if there was a second intake in July and if there is I would like to defer and go in July. I waited for 1 or 2 months until they replied. They did defer for me but it was until next year, 2010. I was shocked as it was too late to even accept their first offer.

At first, of course I asked God why it happened. It was in my plan all these years, after high school I will go for my college. And after college, I will go to university. I did not plan to take a year off in between.

You see, I did know that God has everything planned out well. But it takes more than knowing.

I am glad that God gave me one year off from studies. I wouldn’t say that it is all wasted because I know for sure this was one of my great years! I get to spend more time with my family and friends. Getting to know each other better and spending more time with the people I care for. Which, I will not be able to when I go to university.

This was just one of the many surprises He had for me.

Many of us in one way or another has plan for our own lives or even the lives of your children. For some of you, your plans are going on well. There may be a couple of you who had to change your plan because of unforeseen circumstances. No matter what it is, we must remind ourselves to trust in God for He knows what He is doing. Never, lose sight of God. Keep your eyes focused on Him. Slowly and surely, every bits of the puzzle in your life will fall into place. Only then you will understand why God allowed circumstances to disrupt your plans.

Sometimes things just don't happen as we've planned. Maybe it is God's way of testing how much we trust Him or training us to trust in Him.

Proverbs 3:5,6 says:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Life is like a drama series.
We're the actor and actresses and God is the director.

Sometimes, or should I say often times when we watch drama series or movies we get emotionally attached.

There are times we suggest/scold/lecture the characters like we know-it-all. Or knowing what is the right or wrong thing to do.

However when the same thing befall us we do not know what is the right and wrong thing to do.

Funny isn't it.

I guess, we will relate better if we experience what the other experienced.

Just some random thoughts. :)

These are the quotes that caught my "ears"

Ambition is the enemy of success
- Barney

I don't wanna hear maybe
maybe cannot be in your vocabulary
unless you're absolutely certain, stay the hell away from him
- Ted

Anything sounds impressive when it is said with the right attitude
- Barney

The more you learn about a person
the better chance you have of hitting the fatal 'Ohhh' moment
Yeah, that moment when you find out
that one detail about the person is gonna be a deal breaker
- Barney

so, you've made life changing decision to not change ur life
at all
-Lily

The only thing that can really heal a broken heart is time. - Ted, HIMUM

Yeh, HIMUM! My friend just transferred HIMUM series from season 2-season 5(latest) TO ME! woots!

Expect more of HIMUM quotes over here for the next few days! hahah!

I heard this song from someone's fb video and immediately fallen for it!



Here is the lyrics:

I'm not surprised.
Not everything lasts.
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in.
I talk myself out.
I get all worked up, then I let myself down.

I tried so very hard not to lose it.
I came up with a million excuses.
I thought I thought of every possibility.

And I know someday that it'll all turn out.
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.

Mmmm...

I might have to wait.
I'll never give up.
I guess it's half timing,
And the other half's luck.
Wherever you are.
Whenever it's right.
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazing.
And baby your is gonna change me.
And now I can see every possibility.

Mmmm...

But somehow I know that it'll all turn out.
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And I promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.

They say all's fair.
And in love and war.
But I won't need to fight it.
We'll get it right and,
We'll be united.

And I know that we can be so amazing.
And being in your life is gonna change me.
And now I can see every single possibility, mmmm.

And someday I know it'll all turn out.
And I'll work to work it out.
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get,
Than I get, than I get, than I get.

Ohhh!

You know it'll all turn out.
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And I promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.

I just haven't met you yet.
Ohh, promise you, kid, to give so much than I get.

(I said love, love, love, love...)
I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet.

I'll be going for missions in Nov
den come back from missions, I'll be attending APYAC
den I'll be going to Singapore
den after Singapore is Christmas party
den Christmas Day
den Youth Camp
den New Year
den my BIRTHDAY
den prepare go overseas d

WOOTS
busy busy busy!

Lyndy :: Life comes brushing at you from out of the darkness. When it does, is there someone in your life you can count on? Someone who will watch over you when you stumble and fall, and in that moment, give you the strength to face your fears alone.-oth

I thank God I not only have SOMEONE in my life that I can count on, but MANY friends & loved ones.

When I fall and everything comes crashing down in my life, I am never alone.

I'll never walk alone. (:

And when I stand, I know for sure that you guys will stand with me. You are just like my backbone. :D

Renee Koo: there is no growth without change; no change without fear or loss; and no loss without pain.

Cheryl Ching Ling Lim feels FAT up. :(((((

Sometimes the breakthrough comes unexpectedly. - Mike Wittmer. Yup, I believe too. (:

that doubt is the rust of life
-Doubt holds you landlocked in paralysis unable to move either way. The time you spent doubting is the time you are not ...alive. So, rid yourself of the doubt, take that step one way or another, your heart knows what is best, but take it right now.

I will try 100 times to get up, and if I fail 100 times, if I fail and I give up do you think that i'm ever gonna get up? No. But if I fail and I try again and again. But I just want you to know that it is not the end. It matters how you gonna finish. Are you gonna finish strong? You will find that strength to get back up. -Nick Vujicic

"Marriage lets you annoy one special
person for the rest of your life."

Josiah Hoi: This is for the ones who stand, for the ones who try again, for the ones who need a hand, for the ones who think they can.

There are certain things in life,
where you know its a mistake but
you dont really know its a mistake
because the only way to really know its a mistake
is to make the mistake and look back
and say yeap that was a mistake
so really
the bigger mistake would be the not make the mistake
because then you go your whole life not really knowing
if something is a mistake or not -HIMUM

It is not about going through the labour and pain. That, I can bear. This, I'm not sure about it. :(((

*Grace* : ask u somethign
*Grace* : would u prefer not be able to conceive
*Grace* : or having a cacat / downsyndrome baby

I did think of that once or twice. I still find it hard to answer. Or even prepare myself for it. Sigh. Grace mentioned about the machine that can detect if the foetus is down syndrome in the 3rd month. We will have a choice to abort it. That's so cruel. That's murdering! :(((

Then Grace went on saying that how if you were raped and you are pregnant with the rapist child? It wouldnt be murdering. Nuh uh, it is still murdering.

But, this is where forgiveness comes in right?
It is so easy to say but when we do experience it. Man, I don't even want to get there. Would I be able to forgive? Yeah, that baby is innocent.

What would you do?Even if it is because of being raped. How if the foetus is formed by you and your husband/wife? Would you abort the foetus if you know that it is down syndrome?

I know it is for the better if you abort it. But it is still murdering.

I do pray hard that I won't get a down syndrome baby. :((( Am i bad or mean for saying this?

Sigh. Lord, I'm confused. What do You will for us to do? In these situations?

I was watching the singaporean series just now. The characters in the show was talking about being in relationships. The old man said to his son he must at least fall in love once in life. However, his son replied it is too difficult for him to win a woman's heart. Not as easy as how his dad does it.

So the old man mentioned about some woman are easily courted? (dipikat) by guys. And some play hard to get.

Then it hit me:

"Oh, so it is not about playgirl or playboy."

It's not about that girl having so many boyfriends. It is just that the girl is easily courted by guys. Which means easily fall in love with guys? That is why they have relationships after relationships.

Oh well, that is just one of the many reasons of having relationships after another.

I may be wrong or I may be right.

Who cares? hahha

Night Night.

I didn't know why this word appeared on my mind. If I'm not mistaken it was during my drive down to klang just now.

Now I remember, it was when my mum didn't trust me with her car. I can't blame her though, because I did not show responsibility with my car. :)

Anyway, trust is important in any connections. Be it in friendships, relationships or workplace.

Is it that hard to trust people? Or being trusted? But it is very important when someone trusts you. We mustn't betray their trust. I feel if someone betray my trust I can't trust them anymore.

Will they repeat again if we forgive them? That is usually the fear and doubt we face when being betrayed. Sigh.

If they betray once, there is definitely a second time. If there is a second time, there will definitely definitely DEFINITELY be a third, fourth and so on right???

Should we trust them again?

Here is where we should practice forgiveness. BUT its so hard to forgive and having betrayed again and again. Why should we trust again? We should just save ourselves from so much trouble. Right?

But forgiveness is a choice. No question about that.

Imagine, how much our loved ones had forgiven us for the mistakes we've made or betraying their trust.

Out of love, we forgive.

I believe its a process. We will surely be able to trust. But it has to start with forgiveness. Then the healing process comes along and slowly we are able to trust them again. At the same time, it will change us.

We can't judge them and condemn them, if we do it will be worst for both sides. (I think.) I believe we have to first forgive them and not cast them out of our lives and let God and Holy Spirit do the change. Both in forgiving and learning not to betray trust.
______________________________________________________________________________________________

"Priyadarsini Appalaramoo: It's really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but it is really sad when the best of friends become two strangers."

I just saw this status on facebook news feed!Very true, I like her statement. :)

Thought #1

I think lone ranger has more knowledge than socialites. Why? I guess because they have more time to learn about things than socialites. Socialites just mix around with people, that they don’t have time for knowledge. General knowledge I mean. But as for socialites, they know about people very well, their characters. They are able to see thru a person. Yeah, so there are pros and cons. Hmm, lone ranger has less burdens, I think. They do not have to deal with friendship problems and all those nonsense some people love creating. You know, some people just love finding fault.

Thought #2

I think, I am a person who loves science a lot and like the way God create things, how and why. I am not those who like word facts? You get me? Those laws and business and counting? But don’t get me wrong, I love maths. (Until form 3)

Thought #3

I think a person should have a learning spirit in them. Learning SPIRIT? Is that the right word? Desire to learn, get it? Yeah. I do realise sometimes (or maybe all the time) I might sound like I am a know-it-all person. That’s bad. Seriously, I dislike people that are like that. I don’t want to turn into one. But sometimes what I think is right, is right. I guess I should just shut up and listen. Pretend I don’t know. No, not pretend. Pretend is not the right word. I should just keep quiet and listen, knowing I am not right. And keeping quiet when someone that thought the same thing and know it is right says it.
I guess I have stopped learning maths when I was in form 4 because that teacher wasn’t good. I don’t think that he wasn’t good. It was just my first impression of him that was why my brain shut off to his teachings. It is my bad and my loss. That is why my wisdom for math stopped at form 4. Is that right? Anyway that is just my thought.
I guess I should have and practice learning spirit. So I won’t be a stunted being. I might turn out to be like “her”. That is not good.

Thought #4

I think I treat Charmayne like a grown up. I don’t treat her like a small girl. I easily scold her when she makes silly mistakes. It is wrong, now I know. She is just a small girl. She can and is allowed to make those silly mistakes. No, it is not silly at her age. It is a silly mistake if we as grown up do it. Gosh, how can I miss that. What a bad sister I am. I think I created a standard for people’s judgment towards Charmayne. I realised people expect her to be mature at her age. When she does the same thing as others’ of her age, people laugh and say “so cute” at the others but they give that kind of ‘look’ when Charmayne does it. Gosh, what a bad thing I’ve done in her life. Gosh.

IT IS ALREADY SEPTEMBER!!!
the 9th month of the year!!!
there are 12 months in a year!!!
we're at the 9th month already!!!
3 more month and it will be year 2010!!!

gosh!!! time flies!!!

let me see whats my plan...

i have these books to read ::
1. Choosing Forgiveness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
2. Firstborn by Robin Lee Hatcher
3. A Young Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George
4. Next Door Savior by Max Lucado
5. The Last Empress by Anchee Min

I'm going to read Choosing Forgiveness first. I need that. (sigh)
I dont think I want to read The Last Empress by Anchee Min, the front cover is not interesting enough. Oh well, I'll see how I feel after finish reading the 4 books.

I want to learn guitar!!! I find it weird to learn from guys. I don't know why. Blame all-girls-school. hahhaa!

What else I plan to do... hmm... yeah, baking!!! I'm gonna ask Renee & Grace for recipes!!!
Then when I'm satisfied with baking I'll learn how to cook. Although cooking is way more important than baking. I've learnt a few dishes from grandma and mum but gave them back the knowledge. XD

Oh, just now when I was driving back after i picked Charmayne up there was an accident. The car overturned. Yeah, that bad. What I cant believe is, the van in front of me wanted to stop and see how bad it was. It was at the ramp, that turning point and the fella just wanted to stop when I was driving at the turning point. What is that man! Worst, in the van was all GUYS. (When I thought that women were the busybodies.) Oh well, men changed over time/generations. :D I honk at them, a lot of times. hehe! You know me, I love to honk. Stupid guys. So busybody.

I realise, after I fall sick I need to have nappy time. Everyday. Wonder why. If not I'll go cranky over lil things and start letting out at everyone. hahah! bad bad Cheryl.

And yeah, I was suppose to start reading the first book yesterday. Thanks to lappy and facebook, my plan failed terribly. Fail.com.

At least I started reading a few pages this afternoon. haha! Then i felt sleepy. XD

P/S :: IT'S SEPTEMBER ALREADY!!! then it will be october. Then November. Then December. Then 1st JANUARY 2010!!! Then 9TH JANUARY 2010 (My first number 2 in front as my age!!). Then FEBRUARY 2010!!! Then Goodbye Malaysia!!!

WOW so fast!!!

I never gone with the wind
Just let it flow...
Let it take me where it wants to go
Till you open the door
There's so much more...
I've never seen it before
I was tryin to fly but I couldn't find wings,
But you came along, and you changed everything!

You lift my feet off the ground,
You spin me around,
You make me crazier,crazier
Feels like I'm fallin,
And I'm, lost in your eyes,
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier...

I watched from a distance as you
Made life your own...
Every sky was your own kind of blue...
And I wanted to know
How that would feel,
And you made so real...
You showed me something that I couldn't see...
You opened my eyes and you made me believe!!!


You lift my feet off the ground,
You spin me around,
You make me crazier,crazier
Feels like I'm fallin,
And I'm, lost in your eyes,
You make me crazier,crazier
Feels like I'm fallin,
And I'm, lost in your eyes,
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier... Ohhhhhh

Baby you showed me what living is for,
I don't want to hide anymoooore...

You lift my feet off the ground,
You spin me around,
You make me crazier,crazier
Feels like I'm fallin,
And I'm, lost in your eyes,
You make me crazier,crazier
Feels like I'm fallin,
And I'm, lost in your eyes,
You make me crazier, crazier,
crazier... crazier....

I dont think I can survive being a lone ranger...
I've been thinking of loneliness.
It gives me goosebumps.
Maybe I can survive few days.
but can i survive being alone for one month or more?
This thought had been on my mind for pass few weeks now.
When I leave, I'll be going alone. :(
Sitting on the plane alone. :(
Reach there also alone. :(

I think i'll cry. :(((

Maybe I'll cry thru the journey.

Leaving my friends and family.
Leaving my past and starting a new chapter in the place I'll be going.


I don't think I can live a lonely life.

I cant imagine myself walking in this world and nobody notice me.
I cant imagine myself blending to the walls.

gosh, freaky.

I'm just not meant to be a lone ranger.

but sometimes I feel being a lone ranger I'll have less to worry about.
Its more of myself than every other things.
No need to please anyone eh except myself and God.

hehe.

Loneliness, hmmm.

I should try living a lonely life. :)

but if anything happens to me, nobody will know or care.

wow thats scary.

its like no purpose at all living this life.

scary.

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

But now I'm just rolling home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Hebrews 12
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

As I was washing up just now, God reminded me of my 4x100m run. It was during my high school sports day. I ran as I received the baton passed on from my teammate. I was running as fast as I could but also realising that my feet wasn't running like my mind wanted it to. I lost control of my feet and I guess the nerve signal did not reach my feet well. Then I stumbled and fell on my knees. The baton however was tight in my hands. It happened so quickly, I rised to my feet and started running again. I did not give up at all. The thought of "giving up" wasn't at all in my mind.

That incident taught me a lot. Just like it is written in the bible that we're all running a race. This life is a race. It is a long-distance race. I've learnt what God had made me to be and what I am made of. I won't give up running this race that God set before me. When I stumble, I will rise on my feet. And I will continue to run this race. Of course, I can never succeed on my own. It is only through God's strength and grace that I am able to endure. God is faithful and just, He had blessed me with great friends that helps me up on my feet again and again. (Thank you)

The scripture continues

4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.
5 And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.

7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?
8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.
9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.

11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Yup!No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. I am excited for what is to come and what God had planned ahead of me. At the same time I do not want to rush this process of faith-stretching and moulding God is doing in my life. It is hard, I will not lie. But I will keep my eyes focused on Him.

"Sometimes things just don't happen as we've planned.Maybe it is God's way of testing how much we trust Him. Or training us to trust in Him. :)"

My favourite prayer quoted from Mark 9:14-29
"Lord, I believe. Help me not to doubt." Amen. :)

Today, 18th July 2009 will be marked down in my calendar. It was my very first time watching a football match in stadium!

It was worth every penny! :D but that wasnt what i thought when it was draw!
:P

I feel so bad, I wanted Man U to win instead of Malaysia. but but, I still cheered when Malaysia scored. XD

That first goal was totally unexpected!!!
The second was.. *thumbs up* even vds fell flat trying to catch the ball!!!but his attempt failed. :(

I salute Malaysia Football Team. They werent as bad as I've thought. haha!

When it was a draw, i could see the people in the stadium were quite emo. or was it just me? hahah!but really gosh! i couldnt take it or see the match ending with a draw.nuh uh!

THANK GOD FOR OWEN! haha!

-Shie Yee actually prayed for Malaysian Team to score!!and they did after she prayed! hahha-
Make me feel bad ni, not supporting own country! haha!*woops*

We sat in Violet Gate, first few rows in the front which I think was kind off a good place!
The Man U players warmed up pretty close to our seats.
Gosh, it is still sinking in me that I've seen them upclose!
Rooney!OWEN!Fergie! every one of them!!ahhhhh

A memorable day for me! woots!

But I have to admit, I'm not a very big fan of them. haha! I went there knowing nothing else except

"MAN U"
"ROONEY"
"OWEN"
"FERDI"- i dint even know how he looked like or what position! XD
"SCHOLES" same thing! hhaa!

I literally had to ask my brother who is who and who is what!

Oh oh!
THEY ARE HUGE!!
have you watched Lord of the Rings?
The malaysian players are like the hobbits when standing next to them! haha!

The image of the malaysian captain, the referees and *was it ferdi?* standing in a straight line is still very very clear in my mind. goshhh, its like little people and GIANT.

Also when the sultan was giving out the medals to the man u players, they had to purposely shift the focus to those players walking down.
I guess as a sign of respect to the sultan? *hmmm*

THEY'RE LIKE TWO HEADS TALLERR!!! wow!

ask me if i'll be going for the second match.
haha! nah, its okay. I guess not.
but i am glad i went today!

AFter everything ended, we had to walk back to the car by crossing ths bridge.
I tell you, we were literally walking like penguins! it was so so so so so so so so crowded!!
and and everyone were pretty patient. The people were pretty civilized. XD
*could it be different if it was a draw? or man u lost?*

PICS will be outt soon! *i hope* woots!

aku nak dslr!!! aku nak aku nak! :P

i had a great time!
Thank God for this opportunity! :D

( with fb XD & work) upcominggg...wait for meee...haha